I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
