If that was your dad, he is hot
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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