how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
