you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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