Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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