i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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