no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
