i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
