I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
