Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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