i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
