we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
