carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
