this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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