I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
