New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
