Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
