how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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