GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
