finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
