That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
