I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
