it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize
