My first STD was from a foam party
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
