3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
