dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
