Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dick very happy bro
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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