Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
