McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
