dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
