I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
