my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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