Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
