i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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