I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
