I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
