but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
