Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
