If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
only if we run a train.
done.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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