plz talk dirty to me
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
