I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We're too hungover to prance.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
