After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
