She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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