is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
