Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
