Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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