what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
