Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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