Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
