what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
