I wish I only lived at night.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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